There's a very old man who every morning sits under the same tree, wearing the same long robe, with the same walking stick. He sits in the tree's roots like he's reclining in a lazy-boy and every morning we say the same greatings to each other in Lokpa:
Me: Did you wake up well?
Old Man: There is health. Did you wake up well?
Me: Yes, there is health.
Old Man: And your efforts?
Me: There is health.
Old Man: And your husband?
Me: I do not have a husband.
[at this point--and I swear this is every morning--a look of hurt surprise crosses the man's face]
Old Man: And me? Am I not your husband?
Me: No.
Old Man: But we will be married.
Me: No, I do not want to.
Old Man: You do not want to? No, I am your husband.
Me: No.
At this we both burst into laughter, I tell him I am on my way to the health center and we say goodbye--until tomorrow morning when the entire exchange is repeated all over again.
This is a snapshot of what I've been doing for the past three months. Greeting people every single time you see them, no matter if it's the exact same interaction you've both had millions of times before, is so incredibly important here. Its a way of recognizing the presence of others, giving them respect, and cementing your relationship with them. It is something I will be doing for the rest of my service.
In a week I leave for Porto Novo to finish the final two weeks of stage afterwhich (I'm promised) we can begin in earnest whatever projects we might currently be thinking of. My homologue and I have been kicking ideas around like starting a mutual health aid society, a sanitation/trash pick-up campaign, and composting for fertilizer. My postmates and I want to hold information sessions on birth spacing/family planning and sex ed for International Women's Day and we've also begun planning a girl's camp for this summer.
All-in-all I sound pretty busy. Some of these projects may never get off the ground or eventually prove inappropriate or ineffective in my community. And then there's the one or two that really seem to work, that I'll spend the majority of my time on. But there will always be that ever-present, never-ending giant project: greetings. Going out into the village everyday and talking to people. And refusing, every morning without fail, to become the wife of one old man.
13 years ago
3 comments:
Hahahaha! I can't imagine you participating in this exchange without laughing. Do you get asked about having a husband because the people know you, or is this simply something they ask every woman? (I guess I'm wondering if I should figure out how to say 'no I don't have a husband, and no, I will not marry you' in Lokpa before I get there?)
I was so excited to get your facebook message(s)! I've been in Minneapolis visiting a friend for Thanksgiving, and last night we went to this place called Red Dragon that is a Chinese restaurant and bar that serves "Polynesian drinks". It was great and reminded me of something you would like; the drink menu was hilarious. Oh, but my point was that I was tipsy from Polynesian drink (yes, only one) when I read your messages. Anyway, do you think I should bring, like, a backpacking backpack? I wasn't sure if maybe it would be too big to keep on my lap on a bus or something (I wouldn't want to strap it to the top of a bus). I don't plan on bringing much stuff because obviously I don't want to carry it around, or take the chance of losing it. I really appreciated your clothing advice and will look for long-ish skirts. Thankfully, I still have lots of time to be on the look-out for supplies I'll need. Also, if I bring a backpacking backpack, I should have plenty of extra room to bring anything that you need (e.g. new clothes or something).
I also think Accra will be best. I can't look for flights in January 2010 on kayak because it's too far in the future, but I'll continue to look at fare prices for the off-season (anything but summer).
A while ago I looked through a couple guide books for West Africa, and I believe they were both Lonely Planet. I'll have to check them out of the library again because when I read them originally, I only looked at the sections on Benin. I'm definitely interested in doing some traveling in Ghana (Elmina! err... I shouldn't sound sooo excited), and maybe other countries (Togo, Nigeria?, Burkina Faso?). How much time will you have to travel around, and not have to work? Also, I assume that travel almost anywhere will take a long time because we'll be going by bus. So I think those factors will determine what we can do, but I'm up for anything. And you know more than I do what there is to do...
Some ideas for I had for things to do:
-Musée Historique d’Abomey and other museums
-beaches (would it be dangerous/culturally frowned on for us to swim in bathing suits? I'm sorry if this sounds like an ignorant question, but I don't know what to expect in terms of gender norms)
-national parks
-Abomey (palaces)
How should I bring money? Just have (lots of?) cash and exchange it when I get there? Have travelers checks or something? And, I know you said that the amount of money I'll need depends on what we plan to do, but how much cash should I have on me for the trip, and will I have access to ATMs there (in larger cities)? Do you think it's 'dangerous' there, in terms of the chances of being mugged or something? I was sort of under the impression earlier that it was pretty safe in most places in West Africa (other than, like, Sierra Leone), but then I read something that suggested otherwise (for example, that beaches are categorically not safe). What have you gathered, thus far?
Life has been hectic for me, since starting school at the end of August. (I'm taking 16 graduate credits and working 20 hours a week at the Slavic library, and living in a co-op, which, as you know, means a few hours of chores every week. But next semester will be better because I'm only taking 10 graduate credits!). I'm taking an intensive Spanish course in January, not that it will help me for traveling in W. Africa! (I may take intensive French before traveling, but I'm not sure if I'll have time because I need to get some Spanish skillz for my future job.) And! I'm still thinking of applying for Peace Corps in a few years, so I plan to holla at you for a reference or something.
I hope everything continues to go well for you! I'm working on sending you something (still! I'm sorry!), but it's slightly time intensive, so I haven't really been able to work on it. Hopefully I'll have it there by Christmas!
Love and miss you!
Angela
Hmmm. I wonder why it called me 'brooks'? Maybe because I set up a google group for my co-op (called Brooks co-op)? Anyway, just wanted to let you know, again, that it was me, Angela.
<3
Hello!!!
So I have just discovered your blog despite the fact that I got the link in the email you sent many months ago.
I am currently in the process of applying to the Peace Corps in conjunction with a master's degree (which you may or may not already know about from the random attempts I've made to contact you on facebook...)
That said, I would loooove to visit you! I won't be able to for a long time but you're there for a long time, so I think it works out nicely. You're placed in what I personally would consider to be one of the least convenient types of locations - what with the lack of electricity and running water and all - so it would be a really great experience for me to be able to feel that out, non? Well, that and it would be a BLAST.
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!!!
Ashley Juengling
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